I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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