I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
