Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
