accomplished twins. life is a go
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
