I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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