Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
