is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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