a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
