My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
sarcasm needs its own font
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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