Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
