Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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