So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
