I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
