For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
