You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
