I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
