why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
