I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it glows. i had to have it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
