I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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