Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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