You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
