her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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