New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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