Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
