we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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