Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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