and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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