I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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