well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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