so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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