Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
