the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
