I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
