"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
