erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
