he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
