do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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