Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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