apparently the secret to your success is patron
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
love makes seman taste better
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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