He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
