gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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