remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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