Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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