and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
