Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
