I smell stomach acid.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
