Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
