VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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