are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
