Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
