I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
